Celine (26): Foot journey in search of her boundaries

Due to an accumulation of events, the idea arose earlier (from thinking to just doing) to make a journey on foot. Country of choice: Italy, the lan of family, a sense of home and uninhibited expression: core values that Celine (26 years old) had missed in her own youth. Not that her childhood was so terrible, but with parents who couldn't talk about feelings, it wasn't always easy for her. She learned at an early age to keep her feelings to herself, which laid the foundation for please behavior, where you systematically overstep your boundaries, because 'hey, as long as the other person is happy'. If you exhibit that behavior long enough, at a certain point you no longer know what you want, let alone describe what you feel. Celine wanted to get out of her head, which was always and only thinking. She wanted to experience her emotional life, which she had distanced herself from in her youth, but which of course always secretly remains present.

She graduated in mid-2023 and in September she left with a backpack in good spirits on a one-way ticket to Florence, for a hike to Rome. She wants to explore her feelings, learn to recognize and express her boundaries, become emotionally independent, break free from unhealthy coping mechanisms and break the figurative brake on her throat. An ultimately six-week journey tested her in many ways.

When Google Maps fails her, she learns to listen to her feelings so that she always chooses the right turns. She learns to trust her feelings when someone offers her a ride. She learns to say no to people who gradually want things from her that she does not want. She experiences that saying no and therefore setting her boundaries has a very liberating effect: for herself, but interestingly enough, also for others. She realizes that please behavior is aimed at someone else while he or she does not ask for it at all. With the strange paradox that you never please yourself because pleasing puts yourself at number two. Between Florence and Rome, Celine realizes that she is going to give herself first place.

When her feet can no longer handle the round stones and the backpack, including the tent, causes welts on her back, she is confronted with her mental block of always wanting to be somewhere 'fast'. Her body is exhausted, she wants to stop, but she has to continue because deep in the forest she is still far from a place to sleep. The physical frustration makes her scream: all the pent-up feelings that she has suppressed since childhood shoot straight through her blockages, the figurative brake on her throat has disappeared. The suffocating feeling suddenly feels a little lighter.

In addition, the physical aspect of walking gives her the insight that if she can let go of the mental pressure (of having to be fast), this creates space to get from A to B in peace. No rush, just walk. No mental pressure, just walk. Gradually, the overthinking decreases and she learns to get out of her head and into the moment, to accept the now. When the walking becomes too strenuous or she faces a steep climb, she pauses and focuses entirely on her steps. As long as she continues to take one step at a time, she will reach her destination proud and satisfied.

The warmth of the Italians, their hospitality, their sense of family, the selfless help she felt everywhere, the lessons they taught, she looked for them and found them. Thanks to a deliberately unplanned journey, Celine returned to the Netherlands free from pleasing behavior and independent of approval from others. But most importantly: she came home with herself at number 1, the only right place you should put yourself.

The journey is worth a book. Let's hope she writes it. For now it's worth a necklace. It suits her beautifully. Go Celine!