Stella (58): I don't believe in free

I don't believe in free is a special statement from someone who, after a series of miserable events with two children, became dependent on her environment, social assistance and the food bank a few years ago. Of course Stella did not want to take that path for her and her two young children, but she had no choice. She thought.

Her self-esteem disappeared, which of course took a huge hit due to the situation. She had gone from being a proud Amsterdam South lady to a lady on social assistance and that does something to a person. She shared her experiences, from bureaucracy to picking up packages at the food bank, on Facebook. Confrontational, witty and moving messages ended up on her timeline and because of her vulnerability she managed to reach many people in a short time. What the bureaucracy did not do, her followers did: she was seen, which caused her self-esteem to slowly grow again.

Help came from her followers. People gave things, sent presents for her children, but this well-intentioned help had an unpleasant side effect. She began to notice that all that help once again created a feeling of inferiority. Stella noticed that she had to learn to receive, but that only receiving benefits, gifts, help, has a downside: you do not feel equal and so you remain in a negative circle. And she wanted out of there. For herself, for her two children.

Stella decided to convert her experiences and insights into her book: You get poverty for free. The book turned out to be a success and has ensured that she now gives weekly lectures in which she describes people, professionals and private , teaches the lesson that there is always a way out provided you are willing to be vulnerable and do not simply accept free help. She also talks about the fact that you have to change the mindset of people in financial need, for example into healthier behavior and that you have to work very hard on self-esteem, because self-esteem makes the sun shine again and action is stimulated again. Through healthy self-esteem you change the course of the road: no longer in the direction of bureaucracy with all its suffocating rules, but in the direction of being proud of yourself and being in charge of your own life.

A courageous woman, worth more than a necklace.